Kitty DrunkDrunk has a few choice words for your dumb ass

Published March 15, 2013 by Kitty DrunkDrunk

Kitty DrunkDrunk Has a Few Choice Words for Your Dumb Ass

Remember when you were innocent and unspoilt? Remember when you were fermenting your Gerber apple sauce into prison wine via a sippy cup crammed into the radiator, and the lockdown siren went off and you had to crouch under your bunk like some kinda wayward hobo? No? Well KDD does. She hasn’t forgotten the pact you made when she slipped that razor blade under her tongue to keep the screws offa your newbie muhfukin butt when they tossed your cell. So when you see THIS face, youngblood–you better get to steppin’. ‘Cuz the alarm coming out of Kitty DrunkDrunk’s loose-hanging jaw sounds a little like this: WIIIIIiiiiIIIInnnNNNNE!! WIiiIIIINNNnnnEEEEE! She’ll take a nice Chardonnay with overtones of murder please, sommelier.

13 comments on “Kitty DrunkDrunk has a few choice words for your dumb ass

  • Was wondering what’d happened to her, so relieved she’s undoubtedly on form still. When was she released? She’s really beautiful and with those wino attributes the grey stranger would fall for her in a second!! He still hangs around here and is only after one thing (my Felix chunks) so if I could find a way of luring him onto a boat would you take him in please? They would make beautiful children. Much love, Deev

    • KDD is so glad you are asking after her, especially after she lost her commissary privileges due to that “inappropriate fondling” episode.. Perhaps the grey stranger can look her up on Incarcerated and Un-spayed.com, she is quite “active” on the site these days according to her parole officer.

  • You know… I think it was G.K Chesterton who once said, “The paths of our lives are, in retrospect, glorious when compared to the follies of our youths.” Now I think this can be used amongst all of us, except maybe Genghis Khan.

  • oh! hallefrickinleulia. how can we ever repay you? we were right in the middle of a torturous wine-free Lent, when you re-entered our life with your liberating alarm bell. Thank Cod. pass the razor blade. we are busting outta this place.

    • Oh Sparky! How we pine for you! KDD has dug a double-wide tunnel with a teaspoon in that loamy spot under her bunk so that we can flee to freedom together, heads held high. Because the sewage is about armpit-high. But still. It’s ROMANTIC, dammit!

    • MOC! Apologies for the message messiness. KDD tried to leave you a Very Special missive but it turned into “drunken paddling at the keyboard which turned out to be a carpet sample she stole from Home Depot to pee on later”

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