Remember when you were innocent and unspoilt? Remember when you were fermenting your Gerber apple sauce into prison wine via a sippy cup crammed into the radiator, and the lockdown siren went off and you had to crouch under your bunk like some kinda wayward hobo? No? Well KDD does. She hasn’t forgotten the pact you made when she slipped that razor blade under her tongue to keep the screws offa your newbie muhfukin butt when they tossed your cell. So when you see THIS face, youngblood–you better get to steppin’. ‘Cuz the alarm coming out of Kitty DrunkDrunk’s loose-hanging jaw sounds a little like this: WIIIIIiiiiIIIInnnNNNNE!! WIiiIIIINNNnnnEEEEE! She’ll take a nice Chardonnay with overtones of murder please, sommelier.
Surprised there’s any memory left!
You and me both! It’s all I can do to keep her from trying to break into the safety deposit wine box with her filthy dewclaw. DISGRACEFUL!!
Was wondering what’d happened to her, so relieved she’s undoubtedly on form still. When was she released? She’s really beautiful and with those wino attributes the grey stranger would fall for her in a second!! He still hangs around here and is only after one thing (my Felix chunks) so if I could find a way of luring him onto a boat would you take him in please? They would make beautiful children. Much love, Deev
KDD is so glad you are asking after her, especially after she lost her commissary privileges due to that “inappropriate fondling” episode.. Perhaps the grey stranger can look her up on Incarcerated and Un-spayed.com, she is quite “active” on the site these days according to her parole officer.
You know… I think it was G.K Chesterton who once said, “The paths of our lives are, in retrospect, glorious when compared to the follies of our youths.” Now I think this can be used amongst all of us, except maybe Genghis Khan.
Everyone knows that Genghis is a lousy lay. Just read the graffiti on the Super Max bathroom wall! It’s in magic marker, that’s how you know it’s true.
oh! hallefrickinleulia. how can we ever repay you? we were right in the middle of a torturous wine-free Lent, when you re-entered our life with your liberating alarm bell. Thank Cod. pass the razor blade. we are busting outta this place.
Oh Sparky! How we pine for you! KDD has dug a double-wide tunnel with a teaspoon in that loamy spot under her bunk so that we can flee to freedom together, heads held high. Because the sewage is about armpit-high. But still. It’s ROMANTIC, dammit!
I’ve missed your cat ass!
MOC! Apologies for the message messiness. KDD tried to leave you a Very Special missive but it turned into “drunken paddling at the keyboard which turned out to be a carpet sample she stole from Home Depot to pee on later”
KDD, you inspire me…to drink more. Wine and whiskey for all!
Purple RM! KDD always finds you inspiring. And by “inspiring” she means “holding back her pelt while she hurls in the urinal”. BESTIES!!
I know. Every time she says she’s “leaving for a group retreat” she comes back a week later with yet ANOTHER prison tattoo of a Duran Duran album cover. WHEN WILL SHE LEARN??