Can you hear it? Wafting gently like a syphilitic nightingale’s gin-perfumed song adrift on the breeze of sour disapproval? It’s the tinkling melody of exactly ZERO jaws dropping at the news that K DD has returned unaffected from her stretch at the “deprogramming center”. Wherein burly felons were reduced to weepy, girlish hysterics as a result of their failed attempts to inflict “tough love” on our girl K DD, vis-a-vis her brobdignagian alcoholism. Or as she refers to it, her “nicey nicey”. Thrusting helpful pamphlets under her liquor-drenched moosh only served to whip her up into an unfocused rage. Has anyone seen “Mad Dog” Jenkins (aka Prisoner # 112542) from cellblock C recently? No? Really? Well don’t go digging around in K DD’s litter box any time soon. You may just find a scrap of convict-scented buttock skin with a prison tattoo of K DD’s paw print a-mouldering under the Fresh Step. Don’t be squealing, ya stool pigeon. Or you may be next. She will stone cold SHANK you.
Here’s a fact about prison; it’s where naughty people go. Even Clint Eastwood has been to prison, although he did escape from Alcatraz. I saw it in a film. If I was going to escape I would flutter my eyelids, comb my eyebrows, and waltz on out. Simples.
you see a wasted “de-programming” session, whereas the rest of the free world is thanking KDD for her efforts to help Burly Bad Mans get in touch wif their inner Cry Baby. cleaning up a stoolies is the LEAST you can do to thank her for her efforts to reform society, but no. complain, complain, complain.
Oh my dearest Sparky S! How I pine for you! So sorry for the prolonged absence. Tragic life events have conspired to keep you and KDD apart…no mas, I say! NO MAS! I will stagger to your side as soon as fate allows! Big love and bigger whiskey jiggers to you my darling one! xoxo Kitty DrunkDrunk
The “Wafting gently” phrase is nothing short of true genius!!!
Ja W, ya loon, ya! Why am I not surprised that you are diggin’ K DD’s groove?!
She is something else. I thought my mentally-unstable friend Stickman was bad, but jeez, KDD is on another level. Shameless.
Here’s a fact about prison; it’s where naughty people go. Even Clint Eastwood has been to prison, although he did escape from Alcatraz. I saw it in a film. If I was going to escape I would flutter my eyelids, comb my eyebrows, and waltz on out. Simples.
you see a wasted “de-programming” session, whereas the rest of the free world is thanking KDD for her efforts to help Burly Bad Mans get in touch wif their inner Cry Baby. cleaning up a stoolies is the LEAST you can do to thank her for her efforts to reform society, but no. complain, complain, complain.
I’ve had to ban my own cats from reading KDD’s posts. They were getting too many ideas. I was starting to worry about going to sleep at night.
Yes. I will now begin referring to my own vices as “nicey nicey.” Excellent.
KDD – oh, how I miss you.
Oh my dearest Sparky S! How I pine for you! So sorry for the prolonged absence. Tragic life events have conspired to keep you and KDD apart…no mas, I say! NO MAS! I will stagger to your side as soon as fate allows! Big love and bigger whiskey jiggers to you my darling one! xoxo Kitty DrunkDrunk
Hey Sparky let me know if KDD can email you personally! She has a chardonnay-soaked hairball with your name on it! xox