Now whose brilliant idea was it to invite K DD to Karaoke? All she did was pound Kamikazes and fling litter-encrusted poo wads at the other singers. Then she commandeered the microphone and insisted on making up filthy lyrics to that Chuck Mangione song. Guess how many times can you cram the word “twat” into a 3 minute song? I’ll give you a hint: A LOT. Guess who now thinks every flat surface is her personal stage and forces you to watch impromptu “numbers” consisting of her slurring along to EVERY SONG on the soft rock station? I’ll give you a hint: It rhymes with Shitty FunkFunk. The love songs are the worst–she puts on her “tender” face and tries to gently stroke your cheek but she’s so wasted she keeps toppling over, shredding your face to ribbons.
It is a nightmare! How many times can a person endure drunken warblings of “Desperado” while being sloppily pawed? Can you “courier” K DD to another country please?
Truer words never spoken, 18 C! Sometimes she tries to do Little River Band “mash-ups” with the Pure Prairie League and it is just disgraceful. You can’t even imagine.
Yes, IMF!! She is merely misunderstood, or so she keeps saying every time she calls for me to pick her up from the drunk tank. Which is an almost daily occurrence.
yeah, well you’ll all be crying her a river when she’s a big hit on American Idol or Yeowling with The Stars or America’s Most Wanted or one of those shows. The girl has got IT (gonorrhea, probably), I tell you! She’s going be a STAR. Shred on, you Crazy Diamond. xoxo KDD’s Biggest Fan and Stalker, SSF.
How we wish you were here, S SF! You will of course have an all access VIP backstage pass to K DD’s triumphant premier performance. You don’t want to risk sitting in the front row due to the strong possibility of her gonorrhea leaping off in search of safer terrain.
So would I! If only because it would force her to actually put ON clothes so that they could fall off again. You have no idea how embarrassing it is to have to keep chasing a nude and belligerent K DD down the street, especially past that day care center.
I feel your pain. My boys like to sing & dance, but i’m not impressed when they moonwalk across my carpets on their arses after they’ve just been on the litter tray :-/
K DD IS quite particular about her public image and approves only the most flattering glamor shots. Then I chuck those in the garbage and put these dopey ones on. She still hasn’t noticed.
I say! Cat beast is rather profane! And this is Keith Moon’s birthday as well! 66 today, had he not been a bit dead. Perhaps cat beast is honouring him with her drunken antics? Das boot!
Now THAT’S some positive thinking there, Mr.B! If there’s one thing K DD is the master of, it’s justifying her shameful behavior under the loose definition of “self-discovery”.
we modern Beats are just fighting the system man, KDD all the way!
Due to the fact you liked one of my posts, I thought I’d pop along here – and bally heck, I’m glad I did. This is genius. Not only do I adore your superfluous repetition of ‘drunk’ – I’m all for that, I call one of my friends Carol Bonkbonk for no reason at all – but your writing is hilarious. The only negative thing is that you have a heinous drunk for a pet. Have you ever thought about hamsters? Their disinclination for booze is a plus point, but I must admit their penchant for crack cocaine gets a bit wearing.
Hey hey BST! Right back atcha, you funny thingthing! And you know what? I actually DO think of hamsters, a little more frequently than I’d like to admit, and sometimes inappropriately. K DD would be SO PISSED if she knew. Can you blame me? She’s not exactly wife material.
I wouldn’t tell KDD – she looks like she can get violent when roused into a fit of jealousy. If you do tell her, just hide all your breakables.
AnElephantCant blame KDD for flinging litter-encrusted poo wads at the other karaoke singers, it was probably a fair comment on their performance.
We support CriticDrunkDrunk!
Thank you for your support, citizen. We here at K DD enterprises try to present an objective, balanced evaluation of others’ talents such as “YOU SUCK! YOU GO DIE NOW! STUPID SUCKY! GET OFF THE STAGE DUMMY ASS WIPE!!” and other such helpful advice.
WOOOOW! K DD immortalized in one of AEC’s legendary epics! Well she is absolutely beside herself and is celebrating with a white russian so big she has to drink it out of the recycling bin. K DD is so flattered, thank you!
Thank you. I appreciate your comments on my post about Amanda. I see K DD is drinking Kamikazes now. Does she still drink Zima? I had a cat named Zeke that started drinking Caucasians after him and I watched The Big Llbowski on a late night movie in 1990. It worked out pretty good because he stopped drinking my beer. After a few of those he would get on top of the fridge and sit and stare at everything and everyone. For hours. He passed away in 2001 at 14. His pic is the one that pops up on my profile. He was also one of two cats (out of many over the years) that we had that played fetch all his life. Most stop after a few times. Well, getting maudlin. But I love the adventures of K DD. Thanks for sharing!
Hiya RH63! Zeke sounds AWESOME! K DD labels white russians a “dessert” so that she can blame passing out in the foyer on “too much cake”. She no longer drinks Zima because I refuse to endure the humiliation of going to pick it up for her.
OH jeez. You are lucky indeed. If I had to chronicle the inappropriate man-rubbing of K DD I would have to start a whole separate blog called “Kitty SlutSlut”.
Hee hee JoesP! KDD has a crush on you already too! She has been doodling your name on her notebook ALL DAY. Well, some of the day. She’s really only conscious for a few minutes at a time.
Shitty FunkFunk – priceless (as if Kitty DrunkDrunk isn’t already). Yes, the slow numbers make us wince on your behalf.
It is a nightmare! How many times can a person endure drunken warblings of “Desperado” while being sloppily pawed? Can you “courier” K DD to another country please?
Ha ha – only if you provide her booze and our ear plugs.
Nothing more disconcerting than a drunken cat singing along to The Little River Band.
Truer words never spoken, 18 C! Sometimes she tries to do Little River Band “mash-ups” with the Pure Prairie League and it is just disgraceful. You can’t even imagine.
You are the best.
Oh R the Y D! We do so love it when you drop in! Just ignore K DD when she tries to lure you into keg stands.
Bless her itty-bitty kitty heart, so misunderstood!!!
Yes, IMF!! She is merely misunderstood, or so she keeps saying every time she calls for me to pick her up from the drunk tank. Which is an almost daily occurrence.
That irascible KDD! Her heart is filled with love (or vodka same dif) almost to bursting and needs to vent through song!
You KNOW it, EKFDR! And sometimes interpretive dance! Or as K DD pronounces it, DAHnse.
yeah, well you’ll all be crying her a river when she’s a big hit on American Idol or Yeowling with The Stars or America’s Most Wanted or one of those shows. The girl has got IT (gonorrhea, probably), I tell you! She’s going be a STAR. Shred on, you Crazy Diamond. xoxo KDD’s Biggest Fan and Stalker, SSF.
How we wish you were here, S SF! You will of course have an all access VIP backstage pass to K DD’s triumphant premier performance. You don’t want to risk sitting in the front row due to the strong possibility of her gonorrhea leaping off in search of safer terrain.
Would love to see K DD do this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyaM8r_mXdE
So would I! If only because it would force her to actually put ON clothes so that they could fall off again. You have no idea how embarrassing it is to have to keep chasing a nude and belligerent K DD down the street, especially past that day care center.
How about getting her to sing this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyaM8r_mXdE
She will be happy to reprise her role as nude chanteuse for the small fee of 1 (one) tractor trailer of Cuervo. And a Slim Jim.
I feel your pain. My boys like to sing & dance, but i’m not impressed when they moonwalk across my carpets on their arses after they’ve just been on the litter tray :-/
Maybe they are trying to butt-write you a secret message! See if the poop smears spell out anything! (My personal prediction is “WET FOOD”!)
Just looked at one & it said “sniff this”…..I guess they have been reading kitty’s blog again…..
That picture cracked me up!
I KNOW! Look at that cockeyed sneer! I feel like she should sound like James Cagney and be wearing a little cabbie hat.
Can’t stop laughing, thanks for the hilarious post – pic works soooo well.
K DD IS quite particular about her public image and approves only the most flattering glamor shots. Then I chuck those in the garbage and put these dopey ones on. She still hasn’t noticed.
I say! Cat beast is rather profane! And this is Keith Moon’s birthday as well! 66 today, had he not been a bit dead. Perhaps cat beast is honouring him with her drunken antics? Das boot!
I think you may be on to something there my dear. I was a bit mystified as to why she kept attempting to “fiddle about”. Now we know. Noooow we know.
kdd is my new life coach. we win when others only see failure. this is fucking epic, love it,
Now THAT’S some positive thinking there, Mr.B! If there’s one thing K DD is the master of, it’s justifying her shameful behavior under the loose definition of “self-discovery”.
we modern Beats are just fighting the system man, KDD all the way!
Due to the fact you liked one of my posts, I thought I’d pop along here – and bally heck, I’m glad I did. This is genius. Not only do I adore your superfluous repetition of ‘drunk’ – I’m all for that, I call one of my friends Carol Bonkbonk for no reason at all – but your writing is hilarious. The only negative thing is that you have a heinous drunk for a pet. Have you ever thought about hamsters? Their disinclination for booze is a plus point, but I must admit their penchant for crack cocaine gets a bit wearing.
Hey hey BST! Right back atcha, you funny thingthing! And you know what? I actually DO think of hamsters, a little more frequently than I’d like to admit, and sometimes inappropriately. K DD would be SO PISSED if she knew. Can you blame me? She’s not exactly wife material.
I wouldn’t tell KDD – she looks like she can get violent when roused into a fit of jealousy. If you do tell her, just hide all your breakables.
AnElephantCant blame KDD for flinging litter-encrusted poo wads at the other karaoke singers, it was probably a fair comment on their performance.
We support CriticDrunkDrunk!
Thank you for your support, citizen. We here at K DD enterprises try to present an objective, balanced evaluation of others’ talents such as “YOU SUCK! YOU GO DIE NOW! STUPID SUCKY! GET OFF THE STAGE DUMMY ASS WIPE!!” and other such helpful advice.
Liked this so much, gave Kitty a name check today:
http://anelephantcant.wordpress.com/2012/08/26/does-a-bear-poo-in-the-woods/
Hugs
WOOOOW! K DD immortalized in one of AEC’s legendary epics! Well she is absolutely beside herself and is celebrating with a white russian so big she has to drink it out of the recycling bin. K DD is so flattered, thank you!
Thanks for liking my post about asparagus juice, Kitty DrunkDrunk. Have you or a cat (any cat) tried the tonic before? It’s BLISS.
Hi BMB! I tried to get K DD to try some asparagus juice but she just kept putting gin in it and declaring it an “aspara-tini”. Sigh.
Thank you. I appreciate your comments on my post about Amanda. I see K DD is drinking Kamikazes now. Does she still drink Zima? I had a cat named Zeke that started drinking Caucasians after him and I watched The Big Llbowski on a late night movie in 1990. It worked out pretty good because he stopped drinking my beer. After a few of those he would get on top of the fridge and sit and stare at everything and everyone. For hours. He passed away in 2001 at 14. His pic is the one that pops up on my profile. He was also one of two cats (out of many over the years) that we had that played fetch all his life. Most stop after a few times. Well, getting maudlin. But I love the adventures of K DD. Thanks for sharing!
Hiya RH63! Zeke sounds AWESOME! K DD labels white russians a “dessert” so that she can blame passing out in the foyer on “too much cake”. She no longer drinks Zima because I refuse to endure the humiliation of going to pick it up for her.
I’m so glad my cats aren’t sloppy drunks. They rub up against any man that moves, though.
OH jeez. You are lucky indeed. If I had to chronicle the inappropriate man-rubbing of K DD I would have to start a whole separate blog called “Kitty SlutSlut”.
Um, errr, I think your cat has a drinking problem…ha ha ha Cute cat! Thanks for stopping by my place and checking out the marmalade kitten. ♥
She is a MESS, it is true, MDTP! I have given up on her rehab. Just given up! Defeated by a 7 pound bag of booze. How embarrassing.
Priceless! More please. I love her already!
Hee hee JoesP! KDD has a crush on you already too! She has been doodling your name on her notebook ALL DAY. Well, some of the day. She’s really only conscious for a few minutes at a time.
hahahaha, ready to be a singer!
K DD is ready to be almost anything, depending on the pay scale! Flamenco dancer? Kinda cheap. 7th level beastmaster? A lil’ more pricey.