No, Kitty DrunkDrunk, you’re supposed to tilt your head back and touch your nose with your OWN finger, idiot! Look at her! She can’t even SIT a straight line, let alone walk one! If you look out the window you will see K DD’s purloined scooter which she curb-jumped onto the sidewalk after a full day of pounding tequila with her enormous ex-cellmate from lockup. Apparently she thought she could keep pace with a 400 pound Samoan with a liver the size of K DD’s entire body and you know what? She just mighta done it if they hadn’t been kicked out of JoJo’s Paradise Lounge. It’s not HER fault that dilly broad behind the bar can’t take a joke. I mean, it wasn’t a REAL gun. They were just having a little contest for old times’ sake to see who could carve the most realistic revolver out of soap like they did back in the pokey. You don’t even want to know where the little paper umbrella was shoved when K DD came lurching in the door, singing sea shanties and doing a vulgar little hula.
24 comments on “Kitty DrunkDrunk has missed the point of the field sobriety test”
Somehow I got lost. Was it the Samoan or the dilly broad or KDD doing the vulgar hula?
And who was eating fried onions and liver? That dish really is vulgar!
I’m going to go with ALL of them, just so no one gets jealous. And I believe liver is really only acceptable when it is in wurst form. THOOO THQUISHHY!!!
Hi Ms Drunkdrunk
Can you please not get Mixedupmeme any more confused than she already is. We plan to get married just as soon as I ask her and our respective planets are in compatible orbit.
Great site, great blog.
No cat has ever been able to resist the smelling of a finger. Even five seconds after they just smelled it. Perhaps all kitties are drunk. Always.
It’s true! It’s true! Like a siren luring a doomed sailor with her bewitching song, so does my finger prove irresistible to K.D.D. And it was very polite of you to put that “Perhaps” in there.
Cat beast is smelling someone’s paw in this photograph. Is the 400 pound Samoan a reference to Dr. Gonzo? Also, that’s a really great radiator! It has such character.
Don’t be fooled, that radiator is a total slut! I’ve got a whole stable of those whores in my palace. 8 to be exact and they’re always hissing and clunking about and getting overheated and whatnot like they are menopausal or something. P.S. Sometimes a Samoan is just a Samoan. (Fun fact!: I have a friend in DC who long ago lent HST his motorcycle once, which HST promptly wrecked. No lie.)
I am soooo glad it isn’t just me who has out of control cats! One of mine has been banned from the supermarket for shop lifting and spends all of his time driving round the village in his pimped out car upsetting the neighbours…He hangs out with this girl cat called Tulissa, who is only friends with him so she can get a lift into town….As soon as spike from 3 doors down comes round on his moped she is off………
I think I totally know that dude! Always hanging around the 7-11 asking people to buy him beer? And that Tulissa is a hot mess! Sorry girl but you don’t have the figure for a “lion cut”….I wonder if she knows Spike is fixed? Whatever she’s a bitch anyway.
That’s my boy!! mmmwwwwhhhhhaaaaa!!! What has he done to me???? He has bought embarressment on his family….how could he do this with some hussy???? Good job for his step brothers….I just hope he used protection…..
My cats are not so much alcoholics as they are enslaved to their addiction to the demon catnip weed. Due to their lack of opposing thumbs, however, they are unable to employ a vaporizer for their narcotic “kicks.”
I tried to get her into the program but after a few weeks I got suspicious when all of her “meetings” happened to coincide with ladies’ night at the Mexican disco
I think if you cover yourself with enough stamps you can just mail yourself to K DD’s post office box. Which is actually just a box of wine out behind the dumpster but we will wait for you there nonetheless!
GOD! Don’t encourage her, IO A! She already refuses to stop shopping in the “Juniors” department at the T.J. Maxx even tho she is a total senior citizen!!
Somehow I got lost. Was it the Samoan or the dilly broad or KDD doing the vulgar hula?
And who was eating fried onions and liver? That dish really is vulgar!
I’m going to go with ALL of them, just so no one gets jealous. And I believe liver is really only acceptable when it is in wurst form. THOOO THQUISHHY!!!
Hi Ms Drunkdrunk
Can you please not get Mixedupmeme any more confused than she already is. We plan to get married just as soon as I ask her and our respective planets are in compatible orbit.
Great site, great blog.
No cat has ever been able to resist the smelling of a finger. Even five seconds after they just smelled it. Perhaps all kitties are drunk. Always.
It’s true! It’s true! Like a siren luring a doomed sailor with her bewitching song, so does my finger prove irresistible to K.D.D. And it was very polite of you to put that “Perhaps” in there.
I represent nothing more than complete objectivity.
“singing sea shanties and doing a vulgar little hula”! Seriously girl, you’ve got to monetize this somehow. I’m on it.
Hot damn! Can I refer to you as “my agent” from now on? Maybe that can be the title of K DD’s exercise video!
Cat beast is smelling someone’s paw in this photograph. Is the 400 pound Samoan a reference to Dr. Gonzo? Also, that’s a really great radiator! It has such character.
Don’t be fooled, that radiator is a total slut! I’ve got a whole stable of those whores in my palace. 8 to be exact and they’re always hissing and clunking about and getting overheated and whatnot like they are menopausal or something. P.S. Sometimes a Samoan is just a Samoan. (Fun fact!: I have a friend in DC who long ago lent HST his motorcycle once, which HST promptly wrecked. No lie.)
I am soooo glad it isn’t just me who has out of control cats! One of mine has been banned from the supermarket for shop lifting and spends all of his time driving round the village in his pimped out car upsetting the neighbours…He hangs out with this girl cat called Tulissa, who is only friends with him so she can get a lift into town….As soon as spike from 3 doors down comes round on his moped she is off………
I think I totally know that dude! Always hanging around the 7-11 asking people to buy him beer? And that Tulissa is a hot mess! Sorry girl but you don’t have the figure for a “lion cut”….I wonder if she knows Spike is fixed? Whatever she’s a bitch anyway.
That’s my boy!! mmmwwwwhhhhhaaaaa!!! What has he done to me???? He has bought embarressment on his family….how could he do this with some hussy???? Good job for his step brothers….I just hope he used protection…..
My cats are not so much alcoholics as they are enslaved to their addiction to the demon catnip weed. Due to their lack of opposing thumbs, however, they are unable to employ a vaporizer for their narcotic “kicks.”
Perhaps we can commission Sarah McLaughlin to write a sad song about our addict cats and make a public service commercial!
Forlorn slo-mo grainy shots of them selling themselves on the street to feed their habit.
I am more strictly philosophical about KittyPuss and I’s living together. Hysterical though your cat drinks so. Ever condider cAAt?
I tried to get her into the program but after a few weeks I got suspicious when all of her “meetings” happened to coincide with ladies’ night at the Mexican disco
Dear K DD, I want some of your life. I’m not appreciated here and London is so-o-o boring…. Deev
I think if you cover yourself with enough stamps you can just mail yourself to K DD’s post office box. Which is actually just a box of wine out behind the dumpster but we will wait for you there nonetheless!
Awwwwwww so cute!!!!!!!!!!
GOD! Don’t encourage her, IO A! She already refuses to stop shopping in the “Juniors” department at the T.J. Maxx even tho she is a total senior citizen!!
hihihihihihih!